The day before the big day

I'm now 37 weeks and 3 days along. Carrying my baby girl. I'm scheduled to be induced tomorrow night. Though I have a plan, I'm still thinking about the unknown, what can happen, the risks, and the joy. Just sitting in my car thinking  "wow I'm gonna be giving birth to another baby soon , can't believe it, can't believe the circumstances I'm facing either". I'm in Brooklyn, waitng for my kids to get out of school to leave here, and drive back to Staten Island. Nobody is answering their phone so I'm just sitting here in my car.This is it. It's just me and my journey, with my children. That's something else when you think to yourself all you really have in this world is yourself, and your children. Not the children's fathers, just the children and yourself. Thinking of that moment when I hold her and look into her eyes...

Finding myself: single and pregnant

OIt's just one of those days at work. Sitting on the window seal of the 4 floor cafeteria at work, thinking to myself...what did I get myself into? My life feels like one big mistake right now. Nothing is going right. Being in the beginning of my fourth month of my pregnancy. Having a baby by somebody I work with and no longer involved with. Watching that person ignore my very existence, has distroyed my spirit, my drive, annoyed my work friends. Everything has changed, sleeping, working, and even eating has gotten harder. Being at this stage where you just feel miserable, makes me feel as if there will never be light in this dark cave I call my life right now. 

The most I can do is get up and go to work, and try to focus on my daily tasks. People have started to notice that I'm expecting and I want my baby but I'm not too happy right now.I think that everyone sees how miserable and aggravated  I am. I even hate talking about baby stuff. 

25 weeks more to go...

Life changes

With success sometimes comes change you didn't expect. My life was turned upside down at the end of September of 2015. As a couple we were finally getting where we wanted to be. X and I were finally living our dreams, I finally got a steady job with benefits and X finally had a better paying job he was proud of. With these jobs and three children came extra stress. More stress meant more fighting less communicating, our relationship was strained, and very fragile to begin with. We had lots of issues we failed to continue to work on. I became tired and frustrated no longer wanting to deal with our issues anymore.Sometimes the mind can cloud your judgement due to anger and resentment. Making you forget, that with all the progress you've made as a couple financially, has nothing to do with the spiritual growth and connection to your partner. We still despised one another. We even got to a point where we felt we were better off apart. Not taking time to think things out, we abruptly made sudden moves.  Not only changing our lives, but the lives of our children. Our children were the most important prized possession that we overlooked in the heat of the moment. After almost a decade we split up our family. Although we split up due to bad times, there were lots of good times also. I mean why else would you work it out for ten years,right?

As Real as Life Gets

Everywhere you look, there's an article about marriage. Everywhere you look, there's someone posting about how happy they are in their relationship. Everyone questions it. But just how happy are you? Are you happy about  how far you came to appreciate your spouse? About how he/she has never really changed who they are, but made sure they stopped the little things that bug you (that nagging thing they do that drives you nuts!). 

If you aren't really happy but are trying, do you often ask yourself what is there to keep trying for? Or is he/she  really putting in the effort to make things work between the two of you? The truth is faking it is making it. Every time you put a smile on your face even though you want to frown, or be upset all day, your not lying to yourself or others, your working through the kinks and getting through the hard times. So the next time someone says "stop fronting like your marriage is the shit", you tell them your marriage is the shit because you survived the hard times and still have love for your spouse!

Do you agree?

How are you spending your four day weekend?

Wedge of silence

Silence is growing, bigger, thicker, longer and stronger. The more time apart, the less they care, when one says "hello", the other just stares. Where did this start they can't remember, their affection is just as cold as December. Everyone watches and everyone just can't believe, they used to be two love birds and thick as thieves. Hopefully one of them will give in to the battles and surrender, and reconcile with a love so tender. When you've worked so hard to build a love so great, it shouldn't take so long or be so hard to get things straight.

~Kassie King

The little things in life

I love my babies!

My Boobs, My Decision!

I've been exclusively breastfeeding my baby ever since he was born. He loves being breastfed and close to his mom, and I love the bond we have. It's been about 16 weeks and still some people still find a way to make me nursing my baby in the most private way possible, a big deal and very uncomfortable for them. Not that anyone can make me stop breastfeeding my son, but does anyone ever care how they may make me feel?

I've choose n the best thing possible for my baby boy. I may not be rich but I give him mommy's milk rich in nutrients only found in breastmilk. My milk can never be  duplicated by formula companies, especially since formula is made from cows milk. Not to say I've never fed my other two children formula but I wish I had stuck with breastfeeding with them also. My baby has never been sick since he was born, not even an ear infection.

Nursing my baby soothes all his fusses not even colic has gotten
my way.

Before you judge a mom breastfeeding her baby in public, take some time to think about how you would feel in her shoes. Would you let your baby starve just because your in public? 

My little memories of the birth of Jaymes Elias!

3:23 a.m. He was brought into this world!
But it wasn't easy the whole nine months was a journey, though I was not high risk doesn't mean it was a piece of cake. Swollen feet, extra sensitive to smells        (especially to meat), made it extra hard to get up in the morning and make it to work. I can admit my hormones made me act crazy, I was happy for one moment, then raging mad in a matter of seconds. Through the back aches and other pains, giving birth still was the worst pain to experience. But it was all worth it to give birth to my baby boy, Jaymes was born two weeks and four days early,and healthy.

We have are now expecting a new addition to our family!

 

 

 

We, as a whole couldn't be more excited. As for me, it couldn't be more nerve wracking. what do you do? ...what will you name him? will he really turn out to be like me or hubby? Will he be healthy?......... we he have all ten toes and fingers?....will he be as cute as his big sister or brother? we all have worries, but here a few that I've thought about that may be amusing to you.

1) How many of us really think everyone else's baby is actually cute? who wants to be the the mom of the ugly child? LOL! Nobody wants to shield their baby from the camera after you've already made such a big deal about how cute his sonogram pictures were and shared them with the entire world.

2) How in the world will you ever have any alone time with a third child? This is a question I hear from other people and constantly ask myself (thanks to those adding to my worries). How will I pursue my career if I continue to procreate? well not gonna say that I have it all figured out, but most people make due with what they have and just because I will be a mother of three doesn't mean my life is over or that I have to stay home does it?

3) How in the world are supposed to support three children? Well this should be the number one question but not my number one worry. I feel that if I budget my money continue to save and buy only the necessities I will do fine, right? I guess we will see.

4) How in the world do you make room for another child in your already occupied space? Hmmm... I think there is a place called storage and thank goodness there are 9 months to figure this out. Where do you put a crib in an already filled up room? How do you part with the stuff you don't wanna get rid of? I guess only time will tell.

5)How do you reassure to your children that this new baby is not gonna replace them?
Well that's why you keep children involved in the prep for baby. Sonograms, baby shopping, talking about what they would love to help with when the baby comes. There's always the amount of time you spend with them and show them you care, right?

6) How do you get rid if the spectator's opinions in your life?
No matter what you do in life there are always gonna be those there with their opinions of how you should live. Always gonna be those people that smile at you when your in their presence, then laugh at you when your not around. Everyone who laughs at you may always weep in the dark about their own short comings. We know those people that swear that they can help you, be the person they want you to be, if this person they want you to be is not you then why don't they go find them? What about about those just unhappy people, that just wont quit snickering? well, you are the company you keep. If your not, then they are not benefiting you in any way (though they may be amusing). Keeping the positive in your circle and keeping out the negative can bring less stress, and less drama in your life do you agree?

 

Babies"R"Us - Baby Registry

Babies"R"Us - Baby Registry

To Marry, or Not to Marry?

I was a little offended by those comments made during a debate on a certain show and decided to write a piece on the topic.  I am a person who does live with a spouse and I am engaged to this person, whom I love very much. though we havent set a date,we do have a plan for our future together.  I wanted to start with certain questions that were asked:

Q:How long is too long to be engaged?
A: Over a year (was the typical answer)

Q: Do men propose to a woman to keep her quiet about the issue of marriage?
A: (no lay person was able to come up with a straight answer)

My question is depending on the relationship and the character of the couple, is being engaged for 6-12 months not enough time to decided to move forward with marriage plans?

A couple not knowing each personally for more than a year decide to get married. This couple then starts to  plan for their wedding and start to succumb to the pressures that wedding planning brings on, they begin to crack. It is then, that some couples began to bicker with one another. So lets say they get married six months later, and also never worked out their communication problems. Later down the line they realize that their marriage was a mistake, due to the never ending pressures and obstacles they face. Concluding my example, this marriage failed because they failed to get to know each other, by not getting past what I call the awe phase of the relationship. the awe phase is the phase when a couple only reveals their good, the romantic, the happy side of themselves to make their partners happy. Being together past this stage is experienced by those that are unmarried and cohabit do experience.Whether or not these relationships end in marriage, most of these long-term engaged, and cohabit couples last longer than the marriages that are rushed into. "shows that most couples who live together would like to get married someday, and within five years, slightly more than half of them do."

For those that say it is important to get married before you are engaged for more than a year, I would say to you that in ideal times this would be true for those who are comfortable financially and for those who really know the good, the bad, ugly about their partner ( and accept them unconditionally), also it is ideal for those couples that have a plan for their future together. Marriage is not a one size fits all (www.blackandmarriedwithkids.com, 2011). Meaning marriage does not work for every one's situation, but in society it is seen as "the right choice". In fact society is what encourages marriage. their are many financial benefits of marriage, such as pensions, health insurance, and religion.

Pressuring live-in couples and long-term engaged couples into married people will not improve the face of marriage. In the times that we live in is all the more reason for society to urge people not to jump into marriage.

Celebrities and wealthy people use marriage as a business deal. For example, there is always a prenuptial agreement or none. When the rich couple splits they spilt assets down the middle and one person walks away one million dollars richer. But in reality when average people get a divorce they have rushed through the experience, and walk away scarred, a child with a person they despise, or thousands of dollars in debt (or more than one of these). the average person cannot afford this kind of expense despite what experts and surveys say, it is best to wait and work through those issues before the marriage, than to be another statistic.

"Married adults now divorce two-and-a-half times as often as adults did 20 years ago and four times as often as they did 50 years ago... between 40% and 60% of new marriages will eventually end in divorce. The probability within... the first five years is 20%, and the probability of its ending within the first 10 years is 33%... Perhaps 25% of children ages 16 and under live with a stepparent."
—Brian K. Williams, Stacy C. Sawyer, Carl M. Wahlstrom, Marriages, Families & Intimate Relationships, 2005 this is a link that provides advice about how to work out your differences with your spouse: www.blackandmarriedwithkids.com

Hard Times: What life is like for the average person

It's been a long wait but I'm back. Alot of thugs have happened since my last blog. I temporally finished college with hopes of maybe taking up some kind of  skill  and using it to help pay my loans and tuition fees.
After college there was limited work at my, then current job, so I decided to take a emergency medical specialist class. Yes I am currently a certified EMT, but getting a job in this field proved more challenging than I expected. So here I am in November wondering, should I use my criminal justice degree or my certification as an EMT?
As a mother of two a also have to worry about my children, which are more important than dreams of what I aspire to be. I have to worry about what I am. Cooking cleaning homework and studying help is all mine. So why is it that I'm so bummed out about where I should be, rather than just be proud of how far I've come in life?
In life society seems to set unrealistic goals for the "haves and have nots". Which only a hand full of have nots and of course the haves succeed. Being female, not only pushes you to wanna be the best at everything, but if your a have not your only hope is to succeed, to give your children, or future children the luxury you didn't have.
I'm not one to solely Blame society,  but also myself. It is not the fault of the have nots to not have the opportunity (money) to buy connections to become middle class or become apart of the one percent. It is the fault of the one percent that the have nots no longer have a place in government, since the one percent makes it more impossible every year for the have nots to finally have.

The Fear of the Big "M" word

It is almost six months until my wedding, and it is still not becoming real to me. For years other couples around us have gotten married and it was exciting. Now that my big day is approaching, I don't have doubts or nervousness I feel that I am setting an example for my growing family. Showing my children that having two married parents under the same roof can be beneficial for children. I just feel like the meaning of weddings have become somewhat unimportant to my generation, and maybe nonexisting in generations to come. To fill the gap more couples are domestic partners or just living under the same roof. I feel the 21st century couples don't even get married as much as couples get divorced (which is almost 50%). The 21st century marriage is more about money and prenuptial agreements, than trust and loyalty or family (for better or for worse). . Living together as a couple with children, and being unmarried, and monogamous, is the same as living as a married couple with children. We fear that marriage will change us. But life experiences are the life changers. The fear of a couple getting married are reflections of their own life experiences. Being children of divorced parents can possibly drive some men and women to label marriage as being tied down or other negative things.  In all marriages there should be not only trust, love, and honesty, but also friendship and communication. Getting married should be a positive change....

Please take the marraige poll test & post your comments

My resolution... at 12 midnight

Sitting here wondering where the past five years of my life has gone. Even though I know where, it is so amazing this thing they call time. How time can keep on rolling without a care in site or who may or may not be in the future. Those who don't change with time linger and are left behind with no chance to catch up. slackers who let go of change or who are enemies of are left in the dark in a metaphorical sense.
In these past five years i have been holding on strong to my new life, the life of having my own family, and becoming a wife. In 2005 I graduated from high school and told myself that in the next five years I wanted to have a professional job working for the government, a big house, my family, lots of money, and possibly marriage.
In reality No person is perfect and actually gets everything on this list with perfection with cooperation of time. Time cannot be bargained or brought. That is why I try to take one step at a time on a daily basis. I live life loving my kids, my fiance, and rest of my family.

P.S.
Praying that my Grandmother pulls through, and comes home from the hospital in good health. We just began to develop a good relationship!!!

The Life & Times of Kassie.......

This Is the world of me as I know and see it. Everything from being a mom, an employee, a full time college student, will give you a sense of common ground to relate to my story as I see it!