Hard Times: What life is like for the average person

It's been a long wait but I'm back. Alot of thugs have happened since my last blog. I temporally finished college with hopes of maybe taking up some kind of  skill  and using it to help pay my loans and tuition fees.
After college there was limited work at my, then current job, so I decided to take a emergency medical specialist class. Yes I am currently a certified EMT, but getting a job in this field proved more challenging than I expected. So here I am in November wondering, should I use my criminal justice degree or my certification as an EMT?
As a mother of two a also have to worry about my children, which are more important than dreams of what I aspire to be. I have to worry about what I am. Cooking cleaning homework and studying help is all mine. So why is it that I'm so bummed out about where I should be, rather than just be proud of how far I've come in life?
In life society seems to set unrealistic goals for the "haves and have nots". Which only a hand full of have nots and of course the haves succeed. Being female, not only pushes you to wanna be the best at everything, but if your a have not your only hope is to succeed, to give your children, or future children the luxury you didn't have.
I'm not one to solely Blame society,  but also myself. It is not the fault of the have nots to not have the opportunity (money) to buy connections to become middle class or become apart of the one percent. It is the fault of the one percent that the have nots no longer have a place in government, since the one percent makes it more impossible every year for the have nots to finally have.

The Fear of the Big "M" word

It is almost six months until my wedding, and it is still not becoming real to me. For years other couples around us have gotten married and it was exciting. Now that my big day is approaching, I don't have doubts or nervousness I feel that I am setting an example for my growing family. Showing my children that having two married parents under the same roof can be beneficial for children. I just feel like the meaning of weddings have become somewhat unimportant to my generation, and maybe nonexisting in generations to come. To fill the gap more couples are domestic partners or just living under the same roof. I feel the 21st century couples don't even get married as much as couples get divorced (which is almost 50%). The 21st century marriage is more about money and prenuptial agreements, than trust and loyalty or family (for better or for worse). . Living together as a couple with children, and being unmarried, and monogamous, is the same as living as a married couple with children. We fear that marriage will change us. But life experiences are the life changers. The fear of a couple getting married are reflections of their own life experiences. Being children of divorced parents can possibly drive some men and women to label marriage as being tied down or other negative things.  In all marriages there should be not only trust, love, and honesty, but also friendship and communication. Getting married should be a positive change....

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My resolution... at 12 midnight

Sitting here wondering where the past five years of my life has gone. Even though I know where, it is so amazing this thing they call time. How time can keep on rolling without a care in site or who may or may not be in the future. Those who don't change with time linger and are left behind with no chance to catch up. slackers who let go of change or who are enemies of are left in the dark in a metaphorical sense.
In these past five years i have been holding on strong to my new life, the life of having my own family, and becoming a wife. In 2005 I graduated from high school and told myself that in the next five years I wanted to have a professional job working for the government, a big house, my family, lots of money, and possibly marriage.
In reality No person is perfect and actually gets everything on this list with perfection with cooperation of time. Time cannot be bargained or brought. That is why I try to take one step at a time on a daily basis. I live life loving my kids, my fiance, and rest of my family.

P.S.
Praying that my Grandmother pulls through, and comes home from the hospital in good health. We just began to develop a good relationship!!!